Kidz Bop

Are you familiar with Kidz Bop? Please feast your ears upon this aural abortion:

The Kidz Bop series of albums feature popular (read: mostly shitty) songs re-recorded with soundalike vocalists and a chorus of kids. Kidz Bop is considered to be safe for children, unlike the songs in their original form (which are entirely of the devil.)

The disorienting experience of hearing the opening notes of a song, recognizing the song, and then realizing you're hearing a bastardization of the original song featuring screeching tweens and a Carnival cruise ship performer is pure hell. It's easily worse than hearing John Mayer's version of "Bold as Love," Elton John doing "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds," and Aerosmith vomiting "Come Together" on three stereos simultaneously. On the other hand, it's actually better than the cover of "Behind Blue Eyes" by Limp Bizkit. So, it has that going for it, I guess.

Kidz Bop is child abuse.